december25|marley & me

marley & me is a great christmas movie! never really thought watching movies on christmas day was actually fun. tonight i went to the movies with my brother, doris and milena. we originally wanted to watch the curious case of benjamin button but unfortunately it was all sold out. who wouldve thought that so many people would come out to the movie theaters on christmas night. there was actually a whole lot of people who came out that we actually had to sit on the floor in one of the aisles to watch the movie. whomp whomp, my ass hella hurt and i got kicked a few times.

nevertheless the movie was really cute, sad, warm, fuzzy, and charming..a really good christmas/date movie..i guess. haha.

milena, doris' sister, is really awesome too. we had a really good conversation in the line for popcorn and drinks. it was good despite having to wait so long that we missed the first five minutes of the movie. ahaha oh well. but ya, she understands what it means to have gone to college from our neighborhood and how much of a struggle it is to get people to understand what that experience is like. she's really funny too even though it's really subtle..haha..too bad i didn't get to know her sooner! ya franklin's class of 04!

december15|diggin' yo style

interesting turn of events in my life..yet again.

finals fling, if you will? 

his humor.

his thoughts.

his mysterious-ness.

him.

too many baskets to count at this point!

but definitely not enough marbles to play with.

at least im not losin' them as fab would suggest..

not a good sign.

this always happens....

pinche canicas!!!!!!

december11|marbles

[picture coming soon]

having more baskets than marbles is not a good thing..why do i have more baskets and maybe even too many baskets?

i need more marbles.

with more time, comes more marbles?

i hope so.

i used to like playing marbles with my brother and my mom on our carpet in our old house. it was fun and we made up our own rules.

too bad i can't make up my own rules in this complicated game of marbles.

different game.

different rules.

december10|pokin' war(s)

2 years strong?

we've been at war

a facebook engaged war

lightweight virtual domestic violence

if you will

or something else

maybe

maybe just a simple gesture

just a gesture

simple

nothing more

i poke, you poke

i sign in

i see your poke

and i poke you right back

i sign off

i sign on again

in an hour or so

i see your poke

again

i poke back

automatic

like a car

i unconsciously poke you

like my morning routine

it's what i do when i sign on

sign onto facebook

i poke

but lately

i've been lazy

or not

have i?

about 6 months now

consciously 

not pokin'

not really seein' your poke

ignorin' it

pokin' other people

signin off without pokin' you back

they're killin me

i see it

it sees me

poke

poke

poke

poke back

3 days lapse

you poke back

poke

poke

poke

never ending

ending soon?

dying out

my fingers tired

tired of pokin'

facebook is tired

tired of us

passively saying hi

hello

(passive)

hey

(passive)

poke

poke

poke

see ya later

(passive)

you too

(passive)

poke

poke

poke

you poke

i sign in

i see your poke

i sign off

peace

december9|intrigued

[picture coming (in your mouth) soon]

FINALS SUCK!

i have little to no motivation to study and write papers.

i can't focus. i'm distracted.

FUCK.

in other news..im really interested and intrigued by mm's life.......

..gettin' to know him...seein the similarities..

..pushin' questions..laughin...hatin'..

..listening to understand.

concluding...

he's a cool dude.

not so industry.

december6|overwhelmed

[picture coming soon]

cs deliberations has got me emotionally overwhelmed by progressive bureaucracy.

my puffy, cried out eyes have marked my body with the tough love that i have for this community and people within this community.

i am reminiscent of the haste decision that i made a year ago and whether or not my situation is transferrable to the current situation at hand.

maybe, i shouldn't have run for office because my heart was not fully committed to it initially?

although, i have found not only the love that my heart can give to this opportunity, i have more importantly found my voice.

no value determined.

initial intentions just like first impressions don't mean shit...sometimes. but how they can be used against us can manifest itself in "red flags" and acts of "self interest", perceptions by others who have ill intent for their words.

my heart hurts for my community.

yet again.

this process is just so fucked up and im tired of it. being a part of this process sucks when its trying to be non-hierarchical but in doing so is guilty of that same act. regardless of what i think at this point i don't think it matters because people have come to the table with decisions already made in their heads.

i don't think i have ever consciously decided to silence myself in a process as much as i have in this space, this year. go figure.