june29|goodbye vegas

sadness..i had to leave vegas...too early. it was so much fun kickin it hella hard with these folks and tearin shit up in vegas...my first time since turning 21/22..without family and with dope ass people! definitely havin vegas withdrawals right about now. can't wait until january 2009...until then!

that's what she said..hahahaha what happened in vegas shall forever stay in vegas...

june28|friendly buzz

(pictures by erin)

and a few more words:

beer for breakfast

beer bongs

pool

tanning

relaxing debriefs

fat tuesday mango daiquiri

190 octane burn

sight seeing

picture taking

walking the strip

monorail-in'

takin pictures and havin lunch with hott men

gettin rides from hott men

takin shots to tha head with cute boys from pasadena

clownin' joey

rememberin to eat

gettin all fiiine

party room

beer bongs again

club lax

pussycat dolls birthday (nicole)

random mime..and whatever the fuck he said..?

tao club

dumbass bouncers

prive club

random berkeley asian alums tryna dance

drais after party club

gettin hyphy

free cover all night...again!

walkin barefoot

craps tables

"that's what she said" and the tall white girl in the elevator

another bottle of water

aching back

a great [second] day.

june27|hello vegas

(pictures by erin)

first time at vegas without the parents!! just a few words:

road trip

"why would you do that!?"

"cause you're a bitch!!"

"ivonne, that's a french ass name!..my lil croissant!"

reunion

luxor

buffet

free cover all night

moon club

playboy lounge

dancin' on cat walks

prive club

pilipin@ canadian bachelor party

dancin' on chairs

achin' feet

254 spoonin' with ian

bottle of water

what a good [first] night.

june26|reminiscent graduations

jun graduated from franklin high school today. no one knows how absolutely proud i am of my lil brother. despite all the barriers that our family has had to overcome with the educational system..with bein immigrants..low income..my brother overcame all that fucken shit and got a high school diploma.

i nearly cried when i saw my brother up there on stage as the senior class vice president with honors. my brother even gave the welcoming remarks to the audience..to some 1000+ people at the pasadena civic auditorium. altho, i completely missed that part of the graduation ceremony (damn pilipin@ time) i am soo fucken proud of my brother for the legacy that he is leavin behind at franklin high school.

bein at my brother's graduation brought back a lot of the memories that i had not only at my own graduation but the memories that i created for myself in high school...kickin it at lunch..leadership..playin sports..the people i met..and everything else you could possibly imagine. today, i saw folks from when i was still roaming the halls at franklin in 2004...ashley, adriana, mr. flores (such a gangsta!), buff ass sammy, oscar?, daisey, christina, stephen kong, and otha cats. havent seen them since 4 years ago..high school..and as a matter of fact since graduation. crazy how time flies like nothin these days.

the PASCO REIGN at franklin has finally ended..but the LEGACY lives on...

june25|lunch with daddy

yay! lunch with daddy at good old denny's...since being born..hahah..not soo "daddy's lil girl" i guess. i have to say tho that i really do admire and appreciate my dad. he's been through a lot and i definitely don't give him enough credit sometimes. he loves me..us..my brother, my mom and i. it's just hard to understand his love sometimes..but that's okay because love really does come in different shapes and sizes.

lookin forward to the next lunch...on me..

and shit i ate at denny's twice today..talk about bein denny's-out!

june24|back to my roots

i hit up the anakbayan east bay meeting tonight and it hit me how much i miss organizing..not just organizing but grassroots organizing..and not even just grassroots organizing for whoever but grassroots organizing for MY people..the pilipin@ community. don't get me wrong..but this past year i had the privilege of organizing within bridges a multicultural space and even within paa..but going back to my roots tonight felt really good..felt like home almost. 

some folks from anakbayan east bay organized an educational about the rice crisis that has been goin down not just in the phils but in other parts of the world..it was definitely inspiring and just fucked up at the same time. i realized that ive been really caught up in my own privileges that ive forgotten what/where my roots are. not to say that multicultural organizing is bad..because i definitely appreciate, respect and understand the importance and necessity of both ethnic specific and multicultural community building and/or organizing. i just havent been able to see a lot of pilipin@s that i can really identify with..in a minute..and im definitely not talkin about privileged ass pilipin@s who have the opportunity to advance themselves in this society through a highly academic education that perpetuates the oppression of our very own people...students...students who are sexy progressive organizers.

i miss the folks from pawis (the peoples association of workers and immigrants) that i used to organize with at the oakland international airport with s.o.u.l. (school of unity and liberation) and faa (filipinos for affirmative action)  just last summer. i feel hella guilty for not checkin in with them..goin to the kick backs at marina's house in hayward and all sorts of other opportunities ive had to keep in touch with the manongs and manangs that i organized with. they are the downest fucken og organizers ive seen in my life. and here i am going to school..my privileged ass not checkin nor rememberin where im from. fuck. where have i gone.

as a matter of fact, jay one of the organizers from anakbayan east bay was all like..."where have you been krystle" and all i could say was "school" and he replied with "you dont need school"...hmm maybe he's right. maybe im not supposed to be in school..i mean when i really think about it..i was never meant to go to a four year research one university like uc berkeley..esp since i was tracked to go straight into community college from high school..and like a helluva lot of other people of color...a victim of a privileged white male counselor that told students that they were just "not good enough to apply". 

what if my life was different..what if i didnt go to college..what if i didnt go to berkeley? how would things have been different?

have i forgotten about the commitment that i made a long time ago.....to give my self to the movement?

i also finally met marvin today..the revolutionary kid that chris was telling me about at logan hs..and that i mentioned in an earlier blog. he's on ab core now..and he's hella chill in person. what an inspiration....

june23|olmo's inspiration

this picture was given to me from olmo..a down ass cat that i had the pleasure of learning, growing and organizing with through SOUL summer school..last summer..07. he was down with the zapatista movement down in oaxaca, mexico. he was a straight revolutionary..who i can honestly say that one day he might just bring peace (through justice) to the world..no lies..no jokes..this cat is legit and raw as fuck. i miss him...and i miss mah SOULjahs from the program. i miss tha real ,/& critical conversations that we would have every monday afternoon and friday morning as we broke down the movement to its very fundamental vulnerabilities...our own lives. i miss conversations with people that feel me when i say things like "fuck the police," "hooride the system," "decolonize your mind, body and soul," "critical consciousness," etc. etc. i miss complexity within the people around me. olmo was always good about bringin it/us back to what really matters in our lives, in this movement..in this revolution...

..i need people like olmo in my life right now..i need that kinda inspiration...

june22|masculine fun

HAHAHAHHAHA..good times with the boys on mac's photo booth!! my roommates are so hott in their house clothes..hahah sooooorry buff status.

june20|late celebrations

(picture by adrian)

(picture by mj)

today folks came thru to my new place to celebrate mine as well as mary june's birthdays. although our birthdays were over a month ago i really appreciated all of the beautiful people that came through to party it up with us. 

hella random/KRAY KRAY (krazy)/embarassing things happened that I am still finding out about. LOL. i can't wait for the pictures to come out..or not. i was told that i was kissing everyone..mhm..the love i have for my peoples...lovers and friends.

but definitely i appreciate the folks comin as far as sacramento (i heart you cynthia munoz!), SOUL family, hella pilipinos, raza folks, young alumni, old alumni (i see you chris dacumos!), salinas kid, berkeley kids, nonberkeley kids, friends of friends, boofaces and who ever else came out to show some love! and to those that couldnt make it out but really wanted to..i love you too!

all in all, i felt hella fucken loved despite the hater(s) that straight jacked me! FUCKER(S) you are not welcome in my home ever again! bessss believe! but regardless you all made me feel really special considering i've been really down and out and just hella depressed lately. i needed the good vibes and energy to officially welcome in the summer...forget about the drama and to really just see the folks that i love the most since i havent gotten to see people since like graduation season for berkeley ended in may.

thanks to the roomies for taking care of me..and escorting that creep status guy out of ya'll know where..hahaha..i got your backs next time!

and mary june, i love you mama! happy birthday! let's do it again next year! HOLLER.

june17|my boys

aww my boys-adrian, oscar, and david-in our sexy new kitchen! we're ALL home TOGETHER..for once!

good people..good conversations..good times..and many more to come!

love my chican@/latin@ brothas!

june16|summer internship

today i saw this dope poster in the apasd office from a sasc program waaaay back in the day:

"we will not be moved"

[insert poem]

definitely lookin forward to workin with the other summer interns on getting the REAL multicultural center to be a REALity for students of color and our allies on this muhfucken campus. its been way too long..the university has lagged it on this for the last time..this is the year to make change because we will not be moved.

june15|angeli

angeli or annng-gah-leeee...graduated today from pacific union college..puc! soo damn proud of her! she's finna make a dope ass nurse/dentist one of these days.

deep deep deep down inside..i miss her.

june11|before you walk outta my life

today leadership institute ends. i am now supposed to be fully equipped with the tools to execute my duties as an exec to the student body. its interesting to now have a "seat at the table" with high powered officials within this university. i see the difficulties of this position but the beauty and strength one can really utilize to facilitate positive social change that is real. today, i felt what having a "seat at the table" was about..its crucial to make sure that students not only own those seats..its important that we know HOW the people who sit in those seats are sittin in em. people can be really manipulative and two faced..damn. thats unfortunate.

on another note...im an orange (according to true colors). ive done that activity before and i was an orange then so i guess its pretty consistent. who knows? oranges:

*at work, i am bored and restless with jobs that are routine and structured and satisfied in careers that allow me independence and freedom, while utilizing my physical coordination and my love of tools. i view any kind of tool as an extension of self. i am a natural performer.

*in love, i seek relationship with shared activities and interests. with my mate, i like to explore new ways to energize the relationship. as a lover, i need to be bold and i thrive on physical contact. i enjoy giving extravagant gifts that bring obvious pleasure to my loved one.

*in childhood, of all types of children, i had the most difficult time fitting into academic routine. i learn by doing and experiencing, rather than by listening and reading. i need physical involvement in the learning process and am motivated by my own natural competitive nature and sense of fun.

just another horoscope? i think not.

krishna from pca (hella high school times) hit me up today..craaaazy!?!

so, i guess we werent that tight...hmm that sucks. were losing touch..distance is unfortunately getting in between our friendship..hmm...maybe thats a good thing right now because im too busy to think about that right now anyways. reverting back to my old ways..my old self..me. sucks that i have to find out about whats goin down in yo life from other people or even gchat statuses. hella whack but i guess its my fault too for not going out of my way to ask..even though sometimes i feel like youre not being completely honest or completely real with me. like i ask how you are and you dont really respond. i dont get it..but its okay because i never understood you anyways..although i have sincerely tried to understand you..youre too good for your own good big head..get over yourself...come back to earth and let's kick it.

this song made me think about it today..old school joint by monica...before you walk outta my life:

Oh oh oh, oh yeah yes, oh oh oh, my, my 

Here we are face to face 

With the memories that can’t be erased 

Although we need each other 

Things that changed, it’s not the same

Sometimes it makes me wonder 

Where would I be, if you hadn’t discovered 

Which I did, inside of me 

I know there was something, that we could compare 

Oh, well, i, never meant to cause you no pain 

I just wanna go back to being the same 

Well i, only wanna make things right 

Before you walk out of my life 

Remembering the good times 

From a portrait hung on high

It’s filled with so much color 

And the laughter we left behind

I made the choice and you couldn’t decide 

I made the choice, I was wrong you were right 

Deep down inside, I apologize 

Though I made plans with you 

To always have time for you (before you walk out of my life) 

I guess it’s true, cannot live without you 

Don’t ever go away, ooh oh yeah

Before you walk out of my life


bb@cali..you hella INTRIGUE me..

june10|exhausted

these are my favorite pair of earrings right now..its takin some time to get used to stuff dangled from my ears but they're growin on me. :D

im exhausted..day two of the leadership institute got me sleepin before midnight..on that 8a-8p tip! i have a meeting at 715a tomorrow morning..in a few hours..havent been awake for anything important like that since high school..that was 4 years ago..old timin!

lookin forward to finally celebrating my birthday at the new spot! june 20th..yayuh! and the LAKERS won today!!?! HOLLER. although, i have to admit it was pretty bittersweet watchin it at the bear's lair on campus..this is only the beginning..don't worry..we comin' UP yo!

i am

exhausted.

good night.

june9|galvanize

today's word is definitely galvanize because i literally heard it about 50 times during the leadership institute. however, i cant really hate..i think galvanizing people to get involved, to participate, to take action, to take ownership of their education, their experience, their lives is extremely important and almost necessary to survive in the politics of life. "arousing" the masses to realize their own agency to shape their quality of life is not easy but it is definitely a challenge and an experience in which we can both contribute and take away from. i think the bigger and more difficult question is..HOW? how do we arouse people to do these things? how do we get people to care?

june8|whack call ref!

FUCK BOSTON! LAKERS aint gonna let them sweep! bring it home baby and OWN they asses!! i don't care if lean powe used to play for cal..he had a good night..let's see if he can keep that shit up. let's go LAKERS...get with it!? c'mon!?

word to ian "mr. g" for invitin me to chill at his pad and watch the game..FUCK BOSTON! this shit ain't real anyways..according to paul. LOL.

x k r y 5: its on tuesday baby!!!!
mickmac88: haha tuesday it is, if i were u i'd get the ice cream and baggy clothes ready and try not to wear any make up

cuz its gonna be a sad day for u...

haha

we'll see dude..WE'LL SEE.

june7|tell me why

(pictures by ruben)

TELL ME WHY..i had HELLA fun today..brunch, graduation parties...gots tah love summer yo!

brunch with beautiful calserve folks was healing..havent seen people in a minute! it's good to know that people are healthy and are doin well right now..folks are in good places.

graduation parties are so chill..lisa's then adrien's..hella good times with people..eating good ass pilipin@ food, family, karaoke, drinking beers, chillen in the sun, listenin to music, checkin in, catchin up, talkin about our generation's pop culture (yay for the 90's and wugwats..hold it down for people of color susie!)..BARTin it from fremont..what better way to spend time with hella down ass people.

i heart lisa.
i heart adrien.

(and patty too!) haha..

also, bought my first pair of earrings today..not really sure if im feelin em just yet..we'll see..
and i totally think my neighbors are slangin' from their apartment..no doubt..pimpin' that section 8..they just tryna get they paper..can't hate.

TELL ME WHY..im totally cheatin today by havin two pictures..oh wells, fuck it.

june6|"man month"

i stopped by crossroads trading co. today to try and sell some of my clothes to get some extra cash and while i was waiting for one of the workers to go through my clothes i saw this poster..and apparently june is "man month" at crossroads..now, i thought..what the fuck does this mean? not to get hella political on they asses but..wtf!? "man month"???? i didnt even know what to say to this..but i do know that if i asked any womyn in 515 or any other strong i-n-d-e-p-e-n-d-e-n-t (word to that one song) womyn..what they thought about this..im pretty sure they'd have the same reaction as me: OH HELLLLLLLZ NOOOO!!! (while throwin up the index finger) let's be real folks...every month is "man month."

and if you read closer..to give more incentive to men to want to sell their clothes they "will be entered to win 'manly' prizes: 2 oakland a's tickets..a maglight flashlight.." what is this? "manly prizes"? what does that really mean?? hahaha..its def interesting to see how gender roles are socially constructed when comes to things like clothing, apparel, fashion, etc. and if you look at the picture of the dude on the flyer..its kinda funny how its like this white dude thats lightweight thugged out..but not really..what does this say about bein a man? what does this say about men in/and fashion?

it is without a doubt that every woMAN is regarded in the context of a mAn or men for that matter. its in the language that we use in our daily conversations. why do we say woMAN, woMEN, HIStory, huMAN, MENstruate, MANager, "hey guys," "hey dude," etc...etc.? think about it.

i was reading my robert's rules of order book the other day and i swear everywhere it mentions a "chair" (meaning like a facilitator to a meeting) its always attached to a "man"...so "chairman"..so you know what i did? i crossed out all the "man's" that i saw..because im not a womyn in the context of any other man, im a womyn in the context of myself and my HERstory..haha thats right..because im finna be a CHAIRWOMYN..not a man and by the way dont forget that's a WOMYN..with a "y"..get it right. keep it tight.

ya heard!?

june5|change

i felt like takin the bus today..so i did. its amazing how UNreliable the bus can be at times..and even more so how tha bus can come during the times you need it the most.

summer's been interesting..ive had a lot of time to just be by myself, think about what really matters in my life and regain my independence. it feels really good to be self dependent again..sometimes being so decolonized in mind, body and soul can be very lonely. i realized today that things are different..and are going to continue to be different but regardless i still catch myself thinkin about how things were two, three years ago and how things are now. fallin out's arent fun..never are they kool. i just want to leave things..remembering how they once were..and just come to terms with the fact that we've just grown in different ways..we've experienced different things this year. thats definitely not a bad thing especially since we've devoted our time to takin a crack at tryna save the world through organizing for our communities..its just different now.

in lots of ways i think im starting to miss other things too...like talkin on aim till four, five in the morning about whatever the fuck we wanted because we were just dope like that, mid-day curry, early morning donuts, and other random shit..today was a more somber day, most def. embracing change isnt always easy but its the only way we can truly progress in this world, in our work, in our lives and within our selves..no matter how scary or challenging..and honestly whose to say that things can't just go back to "normal" or even get better later on?

i think i need to detox again..next week maybe?

june4|igby

vanessa's dog igby is the cutest thing ever! tell me why i was runnin around sproul plaza playing with her. such a pleasant surprise comin outta whole day's worth of meetings and check in's. i was so excited to see her.

i think i want a dog now.

btw, i think this picture is hilarious..haha..

june3|youth today

every day i look forward to reading chris malixi's "daily sub quotes" because theyre not only really funny and entertaining but they remind me of the dope ass times that i had when i was in high school myself..damn its been a minute. but today he posted a quote that one of his students said while talking to another teacher at logan high school:

"a revolution is a revelation in me"
-marvin

i have to say that i was really impressed with the depth of knowledge and consciousness that marvin, the student, had with just a few powerful words..and the other things that chris says he usually is always talking about..pyc, the pilipin@ community, organizing...but damn this shit is really deep and he's a junior in high school! how amazing is that!

today, chris reminded me of the power and hope that youth have to make positive change in their lives and in the lives of the people around them. i realized that ive actually met marvin once at an anakbayan east bay meeting in oakland earlier this semester. such a laid back, quiet dude..little did i know that his mind was runnin with critical ideas of "socializing" and "organizing" and other revolutionary things. what a GANGSTA! trip off that..he's a junior in high school!

soo..when i was runnin hella errands today like voting in the california primaries, handlin some loan stuff, going to the bank, and hella other shit..i went to the post office on kitteridge to get some stamps to send thank you cards to pamilya and homies that helped fund my campaign..i ran into some high school dudes..who were prolly too cool for school..who were just kickin it on the steps right outside of the post office. at first, i laughed because i thought they were just passin by..but i realized as i was leaving that this was their "kick it spot". how crazy is that...the post office is a spot to kick it after school for a group of guys runnin about 15 deep. damn, has high school really changed since i've been there? what a trip!?

i remember always havin a spot with my friends to kick it at every single nutrition and lunch period. we would always meet at the same spot every single day without fail. our spot was on the right side of the stage of the quad area on the first planter. we would roll 10 deep usually and it was fun..eatin our flamin' hot cheetos and our unhealthy, reduced priced lunches. that was our spot and no one fucked with it even though we had a tracking system that changed the times of the year that we would be in school. it was ours.

when i look at these dudes and when i think about the potential they have to do some really dope ass shit in this world..i get a little sad because i know that these dudes are prolly not gonna graduate high school, get a diploma, or go to college. its almost ironic that berkeley city is just around the corner because that's prolly where their new kick it spot will be once they "graduate" or "leave" berkeley high. its like berkeley city was created just for them even tho ucberkeley the number one public institution in the nation is just two more blocks down the street. damn, how this system is so fucked up.

regardless, i am glad that there are SOULdiers like marvin..who are gonna do somethin in this world..something worth hopin for..no matter how difficult or hard it will be for him and others like him to give their lives to the movement/revolution..there really is still hope in our youth today.

and although marvin may be an exception to the cycle of poverty, violence, abuse that most of our youth get caught up in every single day..many of our youth..our brothers and sisters are seen as "lost causes" (like these dudes kickin it hella hard at the post office) to the eyes of educators, teachers, policy makers and society in general...but quite honestly these cats are just "lost" they aint missin..locked up..or dead. theyre right there..ALIVE..just kickin it at the post office..

..so who the fuck is gonna show them the way?

june2|summer hair

i did my hair today and i think thats why i had a really good day..haha maybe..maybe not..and things seem hella funnier to me lately. i dont know why but people got me rollin these days! all smiles..

i have to say tho..that ive been pretty tired lately..actually pretty exhausted. maybe the lack of sleep from this semester is finally catching up to me..like right now. ive been sleepin a lot more and a lot earlier..hmm maybe thats a good thing..we'll see.

and im really excited because i have a job for the summer now! yay income! im finna be workin on stuff for the multicultural center..something that ive been pretty invested in this entire year..so things should be lookin up for me this summer..20 hour weeks at 11 somethin an hour shouldnt be bad. that leaves a lot of time to kick it with folks, go home every now and then, go rockclimbing and swimming, move out and into my new apartment and office..and hella other random things like taggin and painting. summers lookin good as of now..yeee!

june1|bridges=spearmint rhino

(picture by gloria)

happy 21st birthday allen youngjun cho! heart you homie!

here we are the bridges directors 07-08 layin on the grass like our peoples aint oppressed..like reality is perfect..like we dont give a shit bout no one..hahhaha..gloria, we shouldve pushed that girl in the blue summer dress down!!!! with her cute cruiser bike...ridin around campus in circles..ten times..aaaayy muxer why didnt we!?!?

i have to admit that it was pretty dope to just be able to kick it like that on the grass right next to the beach..people watching..talking about our families and how oppressive and conservative they can be at times..it was nice to lay in the grass..soak up the sun..and REAL TALK with one another. if only life was that simple..if only our peoples werent strugglin each and every day..if only..

how crazy is it that our families can be so conservative sometimes..and regardless of how much we try to educate and break shit down for them..its just difficult to (re)educate the miseducated..word to lauryn hill. its hard to break down decades and decades of oppression that our families..our parents..have internalized so deep deep deep within themselves. revolution really does start at home..the place where it is prolly most difficult to achieve.

i def can't wait till we all can just get cruiser bikes...ride around the campus in circles...lay on green grass and philosophize about life and the things that really matter..kick it forever and not give a shit bout nothin...till that day..the struggle continues.

the struggle continues..