they make the crisis

"they make the crisis" photo from sept. 24th walkout, taken by oscar mairena

alex and i have been getting particularly close these last few days as we have in some weird way sought each other out to vent, to ask hard-and-almost-impossible-to-answer questions and to verbally sort out the infinite amount of lingering thoughts that we both have about our current relationship situations. although our situations are uniquely different in their own right and we evidently both lie on opposite ends of the "experience spectrum," he has been my relentless set of ears and i have been his.

our lightweight impromptu sessions at the mcc, while im on my work shift and when he finds time after class, have been invaluable to me both emotionally and physically.

and although i walk away from our sessions feeling heavy hearted and probably even more confused than ever, they help. they help me confront the emotions and feelings that i've been bottlin' up (word to some lyrics in drake's song "fear": and know i pop bottles cuz i bottle my emotions, at least i put it all in the open).

we also talked about committing ourselves to actually giving ourselves the time of day to literally sort these feelings out..to be productive, to find peace, to be okay with the (un)controllable circumstances..that's A LOT more than we can say for the two individuals that have been the source of all our troubles.

for now, "they make the crisis" and the burden falls on our confused hearts..like budget cuts and student pockets. yes, the picture for this blog post is passive aggressive on my part but this movement is more than just about fee hikes, furloughs and budget cuts.

alex, i'm so glad you're back from china. i love you! thanks for lookin' out for me..and thanks for this quote:

"push life and see how it pushes back, bends and reacts"

- alex tan

currently doin' just that..