may28|big up's to megabus

today i was hopin' to roll on the megabus down to la and take the time to really think about what's goin' down in my life right now..instead i pretty much fall asleep probably six outta the seven hours that i was on that bus..wamp wamp so much for reflectin' on matters of the heart..


but regardless it was dope to get even an hour to myself to think about all the shit that i've had to put up with this semester. that's when it hit me..my harsh realization. i realized that no matter how hard i try to escape tha funk that i had in b-town and the a-m-a-r-d..i sooo wanted to leave behind..tha funk is followin my ass every where i go. maybe this realization is tryna tell me to deal with my shit and get it over with..maybe its time to move on from whatever my mind, body and soul have been forever dwellin on. that's when i also realized that maybe im changing..changing for the better? the thoughts that are runnin through mah head right now are forcing me to think that im becoming a jealous person...

jealous of what!? him!? her!? bump that..i know my worth. i just can't help but feel angry, upset, betrayed, used...played! hmm..what is it!? what is this funk!? why do i care so much...why is this buggin' me out like this?

i've never felt this way before..it sucks. it's like poison..it just spreads. blah..you're whack..

i have to say tho that coming home feels so bittersweet. i definitely miss my pamilya but i can't help but feel like im not emotionally, mentally, spiritually all here in la..right now. coming home is always bittersweet..seeing my loved ones is one thing..hearing about the "a-m-a-r-d" goin down in mah hood is another..people are dying every single day here in east los..tell me something i dont already know..

regardless, i do have to give props to megabus.com for hookin it up with a ride to east la for hella cheap. although i realized something i didnt want to..at least i am able to confront and deal with this funk that is unfortunately consuming the ability for my heart to be happy..for myself and for others..

..so word to megabus.